So You're At a Lindy Exchange
A guide to exchanging dance, hospitality, and phone numbers with the creepy guy in the blues room.

by Robert White

First, if you’ve never been to a Lindy exchange and you don’t know if you’re in one now, there are several unmistakable signs:

• You somehow don’t have a problem sleeping in a closet with 18 people and one bathroom.
• You haven’t driven anywhere without there being eight people and thirty seven shoes in your two-door.
• You go to bed at 6 a.m. and wake up at 3 in the afternoon every day with your host’s pet sleeping on your face.
• Your weekend’s hygiene has consisted of two freezing three-minute showers and brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink.
• Somehow, without knowing it, you danced with someone at late night close enough to have you legally married in several states.

Now that you have established that you might be at a Lindy exchange, or even if you have been to a few, there are probably some things you should know about etiquette. After all, grandma’s manners never came face-to-face with a weekend-long party dedicated to sleeping on stranger’s floors, picking up random women, and throwing them.

First off, the most important dance skill at an exchange is floor craft. This means that musicality, cool moves, and exciting Charleston kicks take a back seat to making sure you don’t send your partner into the band’s drum kit. Watch out for each other and apologize when you kick someone. If you don’t, be prepared for an afterlife where you spend an eternity in the Aris-Allenator, a device that repeatedly drives the heels of an Aris Allen dance shoe into the soft part of your ankles.Secondly, you don’t have to do everything. There are dances all the time, it won’t kill you to miss a few. The ones you should probably make, however, are the night dances, when events usually bring out their best live music. Many people also have some of the best dances of the weekend at 3 in the morning, so try out a late night or two. And if they do have a band, respect ‘em. Dress up. You’ll be hotter than everyone else, but you’ll also be hotter than everyone else. (ZING! Write that down.)

Thirdly, respect the host. There's Karma at play, here. Your host has taken you in, and might have even bought you food and left you bath towels. If you don’t treat them with respect, accommodate the group’s schedule, ask them to dance a few times, and generally play the role of the gracious guest, then be careful the next time you host someone for your city’s exchange. It just might come right back around. If you’re riding in someone else’s car, chip in for gas.

Fourthly, time is relative. You're Lindy Hoppers, so you probably already know this. Basically, if you arrive at the Sunday afternoon dance when it begins at 2 p.m., you will probably be dancing with three other people until 3 p.m., when a hundred people will suddenly show up, several of them in their pajamas. However, this does not give you free license to go as slowly as you want. Stick to the house shower schedule, spend as little time getting ready to leave as possible, and bring a personal alarm clock so you can wake up when you need to.

Fifthly, set your boundaries in the blues room. Most experienced dancers know that in the world of blues dancing, there’s the “Let’s interpret our emotions through the art of dance” blues dancers and then there’s the “Let me see if I can make out with you through the art of dance” blues dancers. So, er, just be aware of that.

Sixthly, Red Bull sounds like a good idea at 4 a.m. But then again, many things sound like good ideas at 4 a.m., including putting on a helmet and doing heel slides down the stairs.

Finally, some odds and ends. Don’t take too long dancing in the Jam, others want to play too. Deodorant = good, one change of shirts=bad. Oh, and don’t ever ask a lady to dance by only holding out your hand. Unless it has written on it “I’m sorry, I’m mute. Would you like to dance, you goddess, you?” She, of course, will then think “Hmmm, big hands.”

Otherwise, enjoy yourself. Talk with friends, make new ones, don’t be afraid to ask anyone to dance, and don’t fee like you have to dance to every song. Even if you take a break every other song, you can still dance hundreds of dances in a weekend.

Robert White is both a professional dancer and writer. He and his partner Kate Hedin have taught Balboa and Lindy across the country and he is an American Classic Balboa Jack and Jill Champion, Eastern Balboa Champion, Intergalactic Balboa Champion, and is an instructor for Washington DC’s The Jam Cellar. He has been a journalist and humor writer for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution and now writes freelance for the Baltimore Sun. Visit www.bobbykate.com.